161. 50 Cent. A white kid called Marshall Mathers promoted you, and made you what you are. Stop pretending you are a self-made badass, that worked your way out of the ghetto.
162. Scientology. This is not a religion. It is a pile of crap, made up by a third rate sci-fi author. The fact that Tom Cruise and John Travolta follow it, doesn't increase its credibility.
163. Shopping with women. I do not want to spend my entire Saturday watching you try on 50 black skirts, only for you to tell me none of them are quite right. You do your shopping on your own, I will do my shopping on my own, and we will take it in turns to do the grocery shopping.
164. Jedward. Quite possibly the most persuasive argument for involuntary euthenasia I have ever seen
165. Small children running around in pubs. Get a fucking babysitter, I am trying to have a pint in peace.
166. "Ultimate" products. If this is a box of Arial Ultimate washing powder, then by definition, there can't ever be a better one, can there ?
167. The price of prams/pushchairs. Let me get this straight, you want me to pay £500 for some bent, metal tubing and some plastic. You are deliberately taking advantage of parents emotions regarding their newborn offspring, and you bloody well know it.
168. Tesco's Value Teabags. Contain no tea, and instead contain carpet fluff and sawdust, if my taste buds are any judge of it.
169. Kwik-Fit. The day you ever tell a customer the actual truth about the state of their tyres, exhausts or what is really wrong with their car, will be the first.
170. Halfords. If, when fitting a car stereo, I wanted my dashboard dismantled, holes drilled through the bulkhead and you using scotch-locks to splice wires, instead of running new cables, I could have made a bollocks of it myself, instead of paying you to do an allegedly "professional fitting".
171. Wedding dress makers. I appreciate it is a brides big day, and that you are creating for her the only wedding dress she will ever need, but both you and I know, it is still made from a pattern, by a Vietnamese seamstress that you know, who runs it up for a total cost of £200 including materials and labour, and you then sell it to the bride for £2k. Look up the words "greedy, opportunistic bitch" and see how they might apply to you.
172. People who won't turn mobile phones off on planes. Look, both you and I believe that leaving it on makes no difference at all to the instruments on the plane. However, the fact that you have been asked to turn it off, as part of the safety procedures, should be enough. Turning it back on after the stewardess has walked past, tells me that you have zero regard for my safety, and is likely to make me take the phone off you, and shove it up your arse.
173. People who turn up for job interviews in jeans. I wear jeans myself, but not for job interviews. Turning up for an interview wearing jeans and a t-shirt, tells me you have no respect for other people and do not regard an interview as a formal event that you should make an effort for. I don't expect you to wear a tie necessarily, but the least you can do, is to turn up looking smart, and like somebody that we could let talk to our customers without them thinking we were employing bums off the streets.
174. Single sex schools. If you want a repressed, sexually confused, and socially inept deviant, who is only comfortable when he/she is alone in their bedroom and watching gay porn on the internet, then single sex schools are the place for you to send your kids.
175. Northern Ireland's Government. I am happy that the country has moved on to where it is now. This is definitely an improvement. However, the fact that the country is governed by people who are terrorists, even though they are now ex-terrorists (allegedly) does not sit well with me. And I mean terrorists from both sides of the community - nationalist and loyalist.
176. Kilts. I don't care how practical they are, or what purpose you think they serve, they still look like a skirt to me. Also, bad news for you Scots, I discovered the other week, while watching QI on the TV, that they were designed and invented by the English !
177. People who wear fake, designer goods. I can tell by looking at it, that it's a knockoff. Furthermore, I can tell by looking at you, that you are not the sort of person that would be spending a grand on a Prada handbag. So why bother ? All you do, is make yourself look like an arse.
178. Subwoofers in cars. I appreciate that you love your "boss toons" and that you regard any speaker system than cannot dissolve your liver with vibration as "for pussies". However, at 4am while lying in bed, I do not need to be shaken out of it, by your vile music, as you drop off your knickerless, "ho" or "biatch" at her parents. There is no need whatsoever, for a 1000 Watt speaker in a car.
179. Car detailers. "Detailing" in this context, actually means people who think it is OK to spend upwards of £300 on cleaners, waxes and polishes to clean their cars with, and then take their cars to "Show n Shine" events, where they all stand around while judges walk round their cars and inspect and judge the cleanliness of them. If you are a person that likes "detailing" and attending "Show n Shine" events, it is very likely that you have OCD and you should see a mental health professional.
180. Hot-tubs on UK patios. Look, we all know that there is not the climate in the UK to have an outdoor hot-tub. If you have one, you are fooling nobody. You are just showing off to your friends how rich you are and no, I don't want to come to your swingers parties and sit in your hot-tub while other peoples semen floats around it.