1. People who use they're/their/there incorrectly. Also to/too, your/you're, where/were/we're.

2. People who drive with foglights on when there is no fog

3. People aged over 70 driving Porsche 911's

4. People who think it is OK to describe things as 'boss' or 'sick'

5. Talentless fuckers who use Autotune on their voices in an attempt to make them sound good

6. Reality TV shows. All of them.

7. People who watch reality TV shows. All you are doing is encouraging the quality of TV programs to spiral ever downwards to the lowest common denominator

8. The Daily Mail. This is not a newspaper, it is a right wing rag, that encourages people to hate

9. Chavs/Neds/Spides etc. You are cluttering our streets with your sportswear clad forms. Go home.

10. People who say "innit"

11. L'Oreal and Maybelline adverts. I appreciate they are not targetted at me, but they annoy me to the point that I will not buy any of their products

12. Made up scientific names in cosmetic products that are intended to imply that there is some fantastic, scientifically devised benefit e.g. "contains Pro-Retinol-B5". There is no such thing, it is just marketing spin.

13. McDonalds putting calorific values on their meals. People who eat at McDonalds couldn't give a shit about the calorific value of a Big Mac

14. Take-A-Break magazine. I mean, really, what is the point of it. Full of stories about how someones next door neighbour was a love rat, in between a series of stupid puzzles.

15. People who feel a need to have a Blackberry so they can be in constant e-mail contact with their place of work 24x7

16. Baseball caps on back to front. You look like a dick, please stop it.

17. Yoghurts with made up scientific sounding additives such as "Biffidum Activus". It's marketing spin. Check the sugar content of the yoghurt instead, it will be of more use to you.

18. Religion. All of them. Believing in imaginary deities is not big or clever. Turn your talents to trying to make the planet a better place to live on, instead.

19. Cold callers either on the doorstep or telephone. I will never buy your products as a matter of principle. I don't care how much it is or why you think I need it, I won't be buying it.

20. Starbucks. Your coffee is mediocre at best and you are a disease on the high street.

21. People who think it's OK to order skinny latte's. What's the point. Do without the milk for fucks sake.

22. TV soaps. All of them.

23. That arsehole that sings on the Go Compare adverts. I will never use Go Compare as a matter of principle, because of him.

24. People that are cruel to animals.

25. Racists

26. Homophobes

27. Bigots (yes, I am aware of the irony regarding being bigoted against bigots)

28. People with no integrity. If you have no core values, then get the fuck away from me, I do not want you in my life.

29. R&B artists in the current common usage of the term R&B. What you do is not R&B. R&B is Rhythm & Blues, whereas what you produce, is just mindless shite with no artistic value or redeeming merit.

30. People who use such horrible acronyms and abbreviations in text messages, that it makes my eyes bleed. Please use enough English, that I have a reasonable chance at deciphering your sentences.

31. "ur" is not a replacement for "your" in written English on a birthday card

32. Internet companies who I have bought products from and have added me to their mailing lists, despite me ticking the box that said I did not want this. Well done, you have ensured I will never buy anything from you again.

33. The Tory party. All of them. Yes, even the attractive Louise Mensch and the loveable Boris Johnson.

34. Courier companies. All I ask is that you turn up when you say you will, and give me a parcel that has not been kicked around the warehouse by your gibbons.

35. Religious education in schools. It has no place in the school curriculum unless you think it is also OK to teach children about elves and goblins.

36. Selling great British institutions such as HP Sauce and Cadbury's to foreign conglomerates.

37. Lycra. There is no excuse for it. Stop wearing it.

38. Apple. Too smug and self-righteous for their own good, and litigious to the point of absurdity.

39. The Tate Modern. What you display is not art. I appreciate that you think that this is because I am too thick to understand art. However, I know a turd when I see one.

40. Men aged 35 who think it is OK to be seen on a skateboard.