Thursday, July 26, 2012

121. Star Wars Episodes 1,2 & 3. George Lucas, what were you thinking. Shame on you.
122. George Bush and his Dad. I don't believe I need to expand on this.
123. American Foreign Policy. You arm the world and then complain when people start wars. In between you invading other countries for your own financial and economic gain of course. You also lecture the world on human rights issues, when you are the only Western democracy to have internment without trial (Guantanemo) and the death penalty, and are the only country to have ever used nuclear weapons at a time of war. Look up the word hypocrite.
124. Able bodied people using disabled parking spots so that they can get nearer the shops. You will actually need a disabled sticker for your car, if I catch you doing this.
125. The Olympic Games. A colossal waste of money that affects nobody living outside of East London. Money that could have been better spent on improving housing, or providing other more meaningful social benefits.
126. Patriotism. What you actually mean, is racism and bigotry that you are trying to dress up in respectable clothing.
127. BBC Radio 1. This radio station is incomprehensible to anyone aged over 25. Particularly in the evening. I regard myself as having fairly eclectic musical tastes, that even embrace some modern forms of dance music (Psy and Goa Trance) and still I find Radio 1 beyond my ability to understand it. It might as well  be transmitting in Martian. Indeed, perhaps it is ?
128. Charging sockets on mobile phones. For fucks sake, can't you all just use micro-usb and be done with it ? And you, Apple, don't even get me started with your stupid socket.
129. Lady Gaga. You are not anywhere near as talented as you think you are, and prancing about in bizarre frocks, doesn't make you more talented.
130. Linux nerds. Microsoft is not run by Satan. Operating systems that are not Linux are not inherently evil. There is no plan by the illuminati or the NWO, to crush Linux. Wearing sandals to go with your beards is expected of you, but even you must realise it is not socially acceptable. Please go outdoors and make real life friends.
131. Trainspotters. I accept that what you do harms nobody, however, I would suggest you get yourself tested to see where you score on the autistic spectrum. Trainspotting is not the behaviour of a normal person.
132. Alien deniers. You accept there is life on this planet, indeed it is self evident that there is, yet you cannot accept that there is life on other planets. Your views are beyond irrational and illogical, they are the views of a nutter.
133. Anti-abortionists. I understand that you feel passionately about life. This does not give you the right to assault people, send death threats to doctors and burn down abortion clinics.
134. Piers Morgan. You are a total and utter cock, and I doubt even your own mother loves you. We are all grateful you are in America and that we see less of you.
135. Pre-packed sandwiches. I know the manufacturers of these think they are being clever in piling the fillings in the middle so that the sandwiches appear more full than they actually are, when they are cut and on display. I am wise to your cheapskate antics however, and I get my sandwiches made at a deli, in front of my eyes, if I am not making them myself.
136. Media spin just for the sake of making a headline. Not all Scout Leaders and Priests are paedophiles. Not all black people are criminals. People under the age of 20 are not all delinquents. Public floggings are not the answer to rectifying societies ills
137. The BNP. There is no excuse for you. None. You are tolerated, because in a democracy, everyone has the right to free speech. Don't let that fact make you believe your views are accepted. They are not. You are an abhorrent and disgusting minority, and you are a waste of the planets resources. If you are serious about wanting to serve your community, the best way you could do that, is by being six foot under the ground.
138. Internet spammers. I am not interested in your cheap viagra that has been made god knows where and contains nothing other than blue dyed talcum powder. I am also not interested in the opportunity you are giving me to become a millionaire if only I will help a Nigerian King transfer some funds out of the country. If I knew where you people actually were, I would find you and chop off your hands with a machete. As with all men, I might possibly be interested in increasing the size of my penis, but I am 100% positive that nothing you are offering me will assist with that.
139. Katie Price and Jodie Marsh. You are vile specimens of womanhood with no redeeming qualities. Your ability to treat your relationships with those around you, as nothing more than media opportunities, is disgusting. You have an opportunity to be role models for women, yet you squander this and instead just promote garish and disgraceful public displays as the way to behave.
140. People buying pedigree dogs. Not only are you promoting interbreeding and all the medical issues that dogs suffer as a result of that, but your need to be seen with the "right dog" to improve your self esteem and massage your ego's, is causing thousands of non-pedigree dogs to have to be put down each year. Wise up and stop buying handbag sized Chihuaha's, and rescue a dog from the dogs home instead.



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